Going Through a Divorce? Watch Your Conduct


I always tell my clients that, when a divorce case is pending, life is different: you have to be more careful about what you say and do. Things that may seem innocuous during “normal” times can be blown way out of proportion if you’re in the middle of a divorce proceeding… especially if you’re in the midst of a contentious split.

I wrote previously about why the use of social media should be seriously curtailed during a divorce proceeding. Read the full post here, but in short:

  • Do not sell anything online,
  • Do not post photos of recent purchases,
  • Do not post about the divorce proceedings,
  • Don’t flaunt photos of you with your new love interest.

Why? All those activities could potentially enflame your soon-to-be-ex, slowing down the divorce process, making it more expensive, and making it more difficult to reach agreements.

But it’s not just social media that can get people into trouble when they’re going through a divorce. Everything you say and do will be put under a microscope for the months during your proceeding.

Domestic Violence Charges

Imagine this scenario: you and your spouse are separated. The other spouse got the house, and you moved into a nearby apartment. One day, you drop by your house to pick up a few items you need, and, when you see your partner, an argument starts.

During the argument, you slam a door in anger, causing a picture on the wall to crash to the ground and shatter.

Now, that’s not really a big deal. No one was hurt. A picture fell, but that can be replaced. No problem, right? Maybe not.

If your spouse decides that he/she felt threatened and calls the police, saying that you intimidated him/her, yelled, and broke things, you could end up with a domestic violence charge, and a protection order (restraining order). This will not look good in front of a judge — especially if there are children from the marriage and you plan to try and get joint decision-making of the kids.

I see stories like this all the time. Not too long ago, one of my clients got lonely for her kids while they were staying with her husband (they were going through a divorce proceeding). She decided to ride her bike past their apartment, and, while she was there, one of the kids saw her outside and waved to her. Pretty innocent. However, this woman had a protection order against her because she slapped her husband during a fight, and he called the police citing domestic violence.

A neighbor saw her wave at her kid and told the husband the next day. Guess what? The husband called the cops, which resulted in my client getting arrested for violating the protection order. It was deemed to be domestic violence, and she may lose her job, not to mention any advantage she may have had in the divorce process. Domestic violence makes it a significant uphill battle to get joint decision-making.

Domestic violence is no joke. When it appears in the context of a divorce proceeding, it is a serious disadvantage to the accused if they are trying to gain joint decision-making of children.

Be Very Cautious During a Divorce Proceeding

All this is to say: when you’re going through a divorce, just imagine someone is always watching you. Things that normally may seem like no big deal can become a very big deal in the worst way possible.

Be smart, be safe, and protect yourself. If you’re getting ready for a divorce, call our office today at 303-449-1873 to schedule a complimentary consultation and find out if Barre Sakol is the right representative for your case.

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